Video Games - By Daniel Markowitz

The Invasion of the Evil Generic Aliens

"The Invasion of the Evil Generic Aliens" is a top-down scrolling shooter made with C++ and MS Paint during the summer of 2002. The story is sort of an early version of The Pancake Legacy: aliens invade the Earth and abduct the planet's cows, causing the military to recruit you, Mr. Humanity's Last Hope For Survival For Some Reason, to save the day. Over the course of 4 levels, you blast off in your jet, fight alien UFOs and helicopters over forests and farms, uncover the alien plot to create "bovine bombs" with the cows and destroy the Earth, fight the alien fleet in an asteroid field, and then destroy the Godzilla-like alien leader on their home world. The game includes several features, including the abilty to fire 4 different kinds of weapons (lasers, standard missiles, Hunter Missiles which travel fast and home in a bit, and Dumbfires which travel slowly but make large explosions), pick up cash from destroyed enemy fighters, and buy ship upgrades between each level. Above, you can watch video footage of a playthrough of the entire game (excuse the low quality and weird breaks every once in a while, it should still give you the picture!), and below are screencaptures of the fight against the second boss, the Bovine Bomber, and a picture of the fight against the third boss, the Space Invader.

Finally, if you're having trouble reading it in the video, the following is the complete text of the act breaks:

STAGE 1
For some reason, the evil, generic aliens from the planet "Evil-Generic-Alien-Planet" have decided to invade the Earth! And for a reason that has yet to be determined, you are Mankind's only hope for survival! Recently there have been reports of Alien sightings nearby Mr. Crazy-Old-Coot's farm. Apparently the Aliens have a bizarre fascination with cows... Nonetheless, you have decided to blast off for the farmlands in your state of the art jet: The Super-State-Of-The-Art-Jet!
Mr. Crazy-Old-Coot has informed you that the Aliens have stolen some of his milk-money. By destroying the Aliens, you will be able to collect Cash, which can later be used to buy new weapons at the store, "Galactic-Super-Weapons-'R-Us," which can later be used to make destroying Aliens even easier! Ready to blow away some Alien scum? Press Enter to continue!

STAGE 2
Having fought back through several waves of Alien scout helicopters and a pack of saucers, you came face to face with the Alien Mothership: A giant Metavore Hovercraft with a powerful Electro-Blast blaster! But luckily, you survived! Unfortunately, it seems that the Aliens have captured a small group of cows, and are probably planning on doing some kind of crazy experiments on them to create a force of Super-cows! Or, maybe not. Only time will tell! You can stop at the local weapons shop to buy some new weapons, but you must chase after the Alien forces to rescue the cow POWs!
There have been a few crop-circle sightings in the field, so it's logical that the Aliens have been there. Press Enter to get on your way! (And yes, I made the name of that hovercraft up. Hey, YOU come up with a better made-up name that sounds like it could be real! Okay, nevermind)

STAGE 3
Thanks to you, the surviving cow POWs have been rescued! However, many were brutally killed when it was discovered why the Aliens had abducted them in the first place: They could be used as weapons! After destroying the Alien Carrier-Ship and its prototype Bovine-Bomb Cannons, you've scared the Aliens back into space. However, the threat is still great!
Unless they are defeated once and for all, they will continue assaulting Earth until they have won! Therefore, it is up to you to chase them to their home planet and destroy them for good! By a random chance, the path to the Alien planet will take you through asteroid fields, poisonous atmospheres, and more! That should make your quest more exciting. Now stock up on supplies and get going!

STAGE 4
Well, that was tough! After blazing your way through a dangerous asteroid-field, you dueled with a Space Invaders reject, and Saved The World! Well, not really. You still have to land on the Alien home planet, Generic-Evil-Alien-Planet, and wipe the evil Aliens out for good! Hopefully you've been buying upgrades, because the fight only gets more difficult from here on! Actually, you can be the judge of that!
Now go and destroy the evil Aliens! You're almost there! Well, that actually depends on how much time I have to add more levels. Just go get 'em already!

EPILOGUE
Congratulations! You defeated the Evil-Generic-Alien-Ruler-Guy and saved the world! ...For now. Eventually the pointless sequel will come along, and you'll be suckered into playing it because you NEED to know the conclusion to this epic story! For now, though, the adventure is over. The evil Aliens have been defeated and the world is saved. However, you can still have some fun! Press Enter to start all over again, but with all of your cash and upgrades! Make those aliens wish they'd never tried to invade Earth in the first place! Okay, thanks for playing.